Better self-awareness equals better leadership. Here’s what it takes

Those who are self-aware are the best leaders. They understand how they impact others, which strengths they can deploy and which traits support or hinder them in their leadership of themselves and others. They use their self-awareness to make better choices and increase their effectiveness in their role. 

Self-awareness allows you to be your best self and lead your way effectively. Personal growth and development results when you reflect on your behaviours, emotions and thoughts. Self-awareness requires an intentional shift in gears where you engage in self-reflection and consider your progress, decisions, rationales and choices, and how these impact your leadership and those around you. 

By looking in the virtual mirror, you can gain further insights to discover what is working well and where you can improve as you lead your way. Unlike your IQ, emotional intelligence (EQ) can be improved during your lifetime. Researchers have found that developing emotional self-awareness helps us ‘improve judgement, develop bonding and connection, and… identify opportunities for professional development and personal growth’.

Self-reflection allows you to identify how you are performing day-to-day under normal working conditions, and also how you perform while under pressure. It can help you discover how you might be limiting your effectiveness through adopting automatic negative thinking, including the imposter syndrome. Perhaps you might discover how effective you are as you interact with others. You can consider how you are utilising strengths, how you are motivating and engaging yourself and others towards your goals, and how you are performing as you lead your way. Through self-reflection you can see how you are setting yourself up for success, or how you are impeding your leadership. It requires more than a passing glance. You must make time for self-discovery and insight. 

Self-reflection also supports the choices you make as you lead. You need to focus on what’s ahead yet be aware of the past. Learning from what you have or have not achieved is an effective way to build your self-awareness. It can help you establish where you need to focus to improve your impact. It also aids you in identifying what has worked well for you in the past and, therefore, what you can draw upon to support further success.

Schedule time: Make it happen

In my experience with my coachees, quality self-reflection rarely occurs without them intentionally stopping to do so. Those who prioritise understanding themselves find it easier to lead their way and be their best selves.

Scheduling time each week to reflect on your progress towards your goals provides you with an opportunity to assess yourself. It allows you to adopt an inquiring mind where you can explore your performance, as well as your alignment with your values and purpose. By imposing this time within your weekly routine, you can intentionally draw your attention to yourself and assess your internal self-awareness.

It’s as easy as blocking time in your diary. I recommend finding 30 to 60 minutes each week to use as personal reflection time. This investment is less than 1% of your waking hours each week! Make it non-negotiable time so you protect that time slot and build a habit of weekly reflection. For those with electronic diaries, colour-code the allotted time so it doesn’t sneak up on you but is something you can see yourself moving towards each week.

Source: Supplied

What does self-reflection entail?

Many people tell me they don’t know how to self-reflect. For some it sounds very much like meditation or higher-level thinking. Others consider self-reflection a process yet are stumped by how to go about it. 

Self-reflection involves more than simply looking back at yourself. It’s more than simple introspection, where you focus on the historical reasons for why you are acting in a particular way or experiencing an emotion. It requires curiosity and inquiry to assess personal progress and understand what is occurring so you can gain insights. 

The process I guide my clients through has three steps: 

1. pause and reflect
2. ask yourself questions
3. learn from your responses

In asking yourself these questions, pay attention to the patterns you can see. Upon reflection, did you notice you have particular emotional responses to certain situations? Were your emotions in proportion to the issue at hand, or did you have an elevated emotional state? Was your ‘go-to’ state one of defensiveness and excuse-making, or have you approached your goals with an openness of mind, a growth mindset, that allows you to learn and develop? 

Be mindful of your unconscious bias where you hesitate to question your state of mind and the basis of your assumptions. Noticing your perspectives will help you to become more adaptive and flexible, reducing related anxiety.

This article is an extract from the book Be Your Own Leadership Coach: Self-coaching strategies to lead your way by Karen Stein.

Karen Stein is an International Coaching Federation Professional Certified Coach.