In all honesty… I hate my boss!

This article first appeared July 23, 2009.

At 18 I received some of the best life and “interview” advice from my boss at the time, Nick. I was interviewing with him and he asked me about where I was working at the time. I proceeded to tell him I couldn’t wait to get away from the place because I really was having issues with the boss.

Now, even though these issues were justified (a death threat is a justified issue right?) Nick sat me down after I got the job and explained to me that a future boss doesn’t want to hear about your issues with your current boss.

This was one of many lessons he taught me during the time I studied while working with him. Another one that stuck with me was when you start a sentence with: “In all honesty…” You’re inviting the person you’re talking to think that you’re not speaking with honesty at other times.

I was reminded of these lessons when chatting with a friend recently who was having an issue with her boss. They didn’t appreciate her. They didn’t respect the work she put in. They took her for granted. No death threats here which is a great start! But it got me to thinking. I’d had a similar discussion with her about her previous boss, and the one before that, and the one before that.

When a pattern like that emerges, where you’ve been at odds with every boss you’ve ever worked for, maybe it’s time to look internally instead of continuing to push the blame outwards?

There are great bosses out there and of course really average ones, but if you’re always looking for flaws instead of appreciating opportunities, you’ll always have a martyr complex and be wondering why you’re not being fully appreciated. Who knows, given the economy (I was told just this weekend that 500,000 people in the States are losing jobs each month!), you could turn your feelings around and start appreciating your boss for the very fact that you have a job right now.

So, wrapping up, and in all honesty… er, I mean with as much honesty as I always write:

• If you can’t stand more than 60% of your current / previous bosses and managers, maybe it’s you.
• If you can’t stand your current boss but aren’t going to leave, try and change your attitude by realising how lucky you are to simply have a job at the moment and consider what you can do to make your attitude more positive.
• If you’re getting death threats, leave your place of employment, but keep it to yourself in future job interviews!

Kirsty Dunphey is the youngest ever Australian Telstra Young Business Woman of the Year, author of two books (her latest release is ‘Retired at 27, If I Can do it Anyone Can’) and a passionate entrepreneur who started at age 15 and opened her own real estate agency at 21. Currently Kirsty heads up www.reallysold.com the premium online copywriting site for real estate agents and is a co-director of Elephant Propertywww.elephantproperty.com.au Launceston, Tasmania’s only boutique real estate agency purely for investment property owners. Kirsty’s other ventures are outlined at her website www.kirstydunphey.com where you can also sign up for her newsletter.