When people get angry in a workplace two things can happen – people are at risk of harm and poor customer service – internal or external service.
Some people have a natural ease with angry people – maybe they grew up with a fiery family and have a calm centred approach to difficult people. But for many of us this is an acquired skill. Because invariably a desire to fight back – reciprocity – kicks in and we might become defensive which can inflame an upset person.
Key things to remember
Identify the issues professionally:
- Listen positively – positive body language, show you are interested, not busy, annoyed or uncaring.
- Use their name and if appropriate introduce yourself.
- Clarify their concerns, be clear about what you identify as the issue/s but make sure you are factual not emotional, patronising or biased.
- Speak clearly with low calm voice.
Manage the environment and reduce risk:
- Consider the people around you – any onlookers – are they clients? Other staff? What are they thinking?
- Take the person to a quiet area/separate room (especially if a client, but also important for a staff member).
- Remember, sometimes people need to vent and when given this opportunity and given empathy they soon calm down – especially in response to you being calm and in control.
- If there are two people, eg. an angry partner/friend, you need to manage both and if appropriate separate them (eg. if a patient).
- Direct other clients or staff away and apologise that you will be with them or back shortly.
- Stick to the rules of your organisation and of common courtesy, eg.
- “You need to lower your voice in here”
- “You are not able to…”
- “We do not allow…”
- Give warnings: “You will need to leave the premises if you continue to shout and swear”.
- Ask person firmly, to leave now “You must leave the building now”.
- Use panic alarm if any violence or extreme danger.
- Move closer to an exit.
- IF ALONE – you might need back up so ask another staff member in a strong unambiguous way, eg “I need your help NOW”.
- IF ANOTHER STAFF MEMBER is nearby and sees an unfolding scenario that might become dangerous they must switch focus/tasks to support. In all cases of potential danger a senior manager should be alerted as soon as possible.
Reduce anger:
- Don’t take it personally – it might seem like a personal attack (maybe it is), but it’s important to remain professional and calm at all times. Debrief later if you feel upset by the attack but try and remain focussed on a professional calm approach,
- Be responsive to their issues.
- Apologise as it usually helps – “I am sorry you are upset… sorry you are angry”. This kind of sorry is acknowledging how upset they are, not admitting you are wrong (unless you are in the wrong then maybe you do need to admit the error).
- Speak in a lowered understanding tone and try to use decisive words, not maybe, possibly, I am not sure. And if you don’t know or unsure say “I will find out”
- People who are angry like to hear how they will be helped so outline plan to help “What we will do is …” “there are 2 things we need to do, first …”
- Agree on a solution “So we agree it is best not to go ahead with the procedure today”.
If you are a manager make sure all staff are trained in conflict resolution and safe procedures for handling difficult people.
Eve Ash has produced a large number of DVDs and resources for managing conflict and difficult people. Eve;’s company Seven Dimensions specialises in creating positive cultures where people communicate professionally and with best.
