Paralysed by criticism

Lately I feel like I should just stop trying because most of what I do gets criticised. I am someone who generates lots of new ideas and with passion I pull other people in and get them enthused. But the negativity and blocking from those around me is really getting me down.

The more ideas you have, the more people hear these ideas, the more you will likely encounter criticism. Our perception and reliving of criticism is what often hurts the most. And the biggest problem is that even the most constructive feedback can lead to paralysis and stop good ideas and projects going forward. The ‘fear’ of anticipated feedback even paralyses some people.

We all need to know that not everyone will agree with our thoughts, ideas and strategies. You put yourself and your ideas up for judgement as soon as they go public. You can try to be all-inclusive and get more people involved in the decision-making, but the more people and feedback you get the larger, slower and more daunting the whole process it can become. And when creating new product, or trying to implement change or improvement, it can be very difficult.

To avoid being criticised you can say nothing and do nothing – as many people do, but then you are likely to stay safely in a nothing zone!

To be successful you have to have the skill to keep taking risks, to keep putting yourself in the line of fire and stay very focused on the positive outcomes you are achieving, not the blockers who might hold you back. If we focus on who we upset, who might not like our ideas and the comments about what we should have done better, it is easy to slide into a negative space. Often these people commenting do this best, but do not lead new strategies or create new products or ideas.

I know this myself and it helps to develop the art of inviting open feedback, which may be constructive or even destructive, and taking note calmly and not being defensive. Don’t avoid it, ask for it. But the main skill is to then divide it into:

1. What is valid and can be changed that I can control, and can do this right now or in the short-term at little or no expense or disturbance?
2. What is valid but needs to be considered a lesson to learn for a future strategy, product, team or project with a new budget, parameters, outcomes, etc?
3. What is really not valid, not helpful and/or beyond my control, and can be noted then put aside and not relived and embedded in our brains?

The problem is we spend too much time mulling over the reactions to the feedback, getting drained, and not immediately categorising and getting on with the next step. So we stay stuck.

Someone who knows a lot about risk is Tom O’Toole, the charismatic founder of the Beechworth Bakery, who turned a $100k business in a town with only 3,000 people, into a $10 million business. He has not only achieved remarkable results in his business, against the odds, but now he presents to business groups nationwide about his ‘secrets’ of success, and has created a DVD training package – BREAD. It’s definitely worth checking out.

Eve Ash’s company Seven Dimensions has been producing and distributing DVDs and training packages for over 30 years. Bread is an exciting new release this month, and one of the few packages made by other producers that Seven Dimensions has chosen to distribute.