There are many forms of dishonesty in the workplace that can really stand in the way of us doing our best work. It’s strange that people so readily choose to lie when the truth is so simple and honesty is so highly valued.
The fact is that many people lie. They lie to their loved ones, to their colleagues and worse still, to themselves.
Many people may not lie themselves, or cheat or steal, but they are aware of others whom they work with who cheat or steal, yet they themselves will choose not to reveal their knowledge. In many companies this failure to say anything can itself be considered unethical.
This is an extremely common form of dishonesty. When explaining something a person may leave out certain details in order to paint themselves in a better light. This may not seem all that dishonest due to every piece of information being delivered being factual – but the impression that the recipient has is a false one. If it’s deliberately false then this is effectively lying, whether the intent is malicious or not, and it can become insidious if that false impression leads to decisions down the track.
Most of us would prefer to get through our day without hurting people, but the workplace (and life in general) commands a level of honesty in which it is more important to be direct than to protect someone’s feelings in the short-term. This is particularly common in performance evaluations when managers would rather not have the emotional fallout that comes with criticising the performance of a team member.
Someone gets an unfavourable response to their work. Should they pretend it is all okay? A colleague told me this week that he was devastated by his manager’s feedback on his work, but acted like it was of no consequence when in fact, he was deeply hurt. Now he feels he has a barrier with the manager because he can’t be open with her. And what has upset him most is that he felt that a project brief he had been given was not clear enough with regards to scope and timelines. A common situation, but by not saying anything he has closed the door on that manager getting feedback to improve her performance as a manager, and the two of them having an open honest working relationship.
Again, this kind of dishonesty is common in performance evaluations. We try to brave it when someone criticises us, we try not to show any vulnerability, but in fact we are doing ourselves a disservice. For example, if we receive a poor evaluation and are shocked and hurt by it, it can be advantageous to say, “I was not expecting that, and I’m really angry and disappointed.” It gives your manager the opportunity to clarify, whereas pretending you’re not affected can leave you and your manager in uncertain territory about how to proceed.
There are many ways to deliver facts and opinions and we make the choice about whether we want to do this in a constructive or destructive way. If you are offering criticism, which is important, then you must keep in mind the larger aim of changing the behaviour. A careless, brutally delivered opinion will create resentment and discontent, and may in fact perpetuate the behaviour you are seeking to change.
Conversely, padding the message too much can have too little impact. It’s important to present specific factual feedback with the required level of importance – without barbed wire.
When we are honest about ourselves we learn a lot more. 360-degree feedback has been a way for people at work to get a more accurate exploration of their skills.
The most important thing about honesty is that it saves time. There is a lot of frustration and wasted time and effort that goes hand-in-hand with being disingenuous. Being honest allows any personality differences to be sorted more quickly, and any issues to be addressed more immediately than if false impressions are perpetuated.
So please, if you’re harbouring judgements, anger, frustrations or disagreements, take the time to talk them through with people. Honesty, even when people don’t enjoy it, builds trust as everyone becomes more aware of where they stand, and can learn to work together more effectively.
And trust is the thing usually valued most in any relationship.
Eve Ash has written books, produced hundreds of videos and created a wide range of assessment tools to find out more about yourself and your performance. Her latest release Rate-Me is an iPhone app that helps people learn more about themselves with some simple psychological tests and is now available on iTunes.
Smart Company is the leading online publication in Australia for free news, information and resources catering to Australia’s entrepreneurs, small and medium business owners and business managers.
