Why former Twitter exec Aliza Knox says we need to retire the term ‘work-life balance’

We’ve all heard the phrase ‘work-life balance’. It sounds admirable on the face of it. Yes, you need to balance the demands of your career and the pressures and desires you have outside of work. The problem with this formulation is that it suggests that work is in a constant battle with the rest of your life, each side struggling to win. It puts your work and your life on opposite ends of a seesaw — one must be down for the other to be up.

This either/or concept of work and life is a limiting view, and inaccurate. The fact is, embracing your passions outside of work gives you energy and enthusiasm, which you then bring to your job, helping you do it better.

In my new book, Don’t Quit Your Day Job: The 6 mindshifts you need to Rise and Thrive at work, the first essential shift I encourage people to make is to see their work and their life as being part of the same team, not at odds with each other. In my own life, I have been able to hold leadership positions, and do the things that are important to me.

So many people I’ve met believe they’ll come to an ‘either-or’ moment in their careers, a time when one of their most important desires will have to give way.

However, in my experience and the experience of hundreds of people I‘ve advised over the years, this isn’t the case. Yes, there are a lot of challenges when you’re trying to raise children and hold down a career, or practice your profession and pursue a sport at an elite level, or work and be a full-time carer. It can be quite hard, and the difficulties the media points out of finding this “work-life balance” are real, but it is possible. 

How to put your life and career on the same team

1. Be prepared to make occasional trade-offs

   While you can do a lot, you can’t do everything all at once. Some trade-offs might have to be made. You might not get as much sleep as you’d like all the time. Your house might not be as consistently clean as you wish. Your wardrobe might not be particularly stylish (well, at least mine hasn’t been). You might push some limits occasionally (like flying from Singapore to Thailand for a meeting in a huge raincoat to hide from the airline-rule-bound flight attendants just how pregnant you are. Yes, me again). 

2. Negotiate for what you want

   As I’ve witnessed among people I mentor; many are pushing for more flexible work schedules and better jobs — and succeeding in these efforts. More companies are starting to focus on a holistic approach to well-being and are now open to initiatives that boost team morale and wellness, such as working remotely and providing flexible hours. An executive I know in Singapore just arranged a four-day work week at an investment firm. Often, in negotiations, it’s helpful to present the idea to your firm as a trial, and to share data, if there is any, on how this has worked for others.

3. Let your passions fuel your career

   Our passions matter. Rather than detracting from a career, they can help support it, often in surprising ways. My desire to swim in Manhattan just after college pushed me to get an MBA at night at NYU in order to use their pool. This degree was what enabled me to get a job which I loved at Boston Consulting Group not long after, even though I’d never heard of consulting prior to that.

   Cindy Carpenter, MD of Cast, took on a role as chair of The Bread and Butter Project, a non-profit social enterprise, because she was troubled by the plight of refugees seeking asylum in Australia.She threw herself into this solely because she was passionate about helping refugees find employment and describes gaining an enriched world view and ‘soul fulfilment’ from this role.

   Yet the visibility of these efforts also generated new clients for her business. Outside interests help build connections and social capital. They can even boost your career “brand.”

   Our non-work passions are part of who we are. Embracing the various aspects of ourselves helps us thrive, creating energy and a sense of agency, both of which can empower us at work. Making room for non-work-related interests helps us get where we want to go — and love all parts of our lives.

It’s time to stop trying to achieve “work-life balance” and start understanding that careers can support passions, and vice versa. Since we spend most of our lives working, by incorporating this essential mindshift into daily life you’ll be able to thrive in both your professional and personal spheres.