But starting a business with a spouse leaves both partners financially exposed, according to Jeff Reid, director of entrepreneurial studies at Georgetown University’s McDonough School of Business.
“Generally speaking, if one person in a marriage is in the start-up phase of a business, the couple relies on the other spouse’s income, health insurance and job security to fall back on,” Reid says.
“But if the business is failing and both spouses are ‘all in,’ it creates an interesting dynamic. When the business isn’t doing well, there is tremendous stress on the marriage.”
Raising investment capital is often difficult for married business partners. Many venture capitalists and angel investors “have a hard rule to never invest in a husband and wife team,” notes Reid.
“They will tell you that they have been burned before. Every start-up has challenges, and every marriage faces challenges. As an investor, you are looking to minimise risk. Investing in a husband-wife business looks risky.”
In addition, hiring can be an obstacle for husband and wife teams. Many job candidates – particularly seasoned senior managers – are reluctant to work for a married couple.
“That senior manager realises he or she won’t be part of every discussion about the future of the business,” says Reid. “It would be hard to be that third senior leader when there are tough decisions that have to be made. After all, who is going to fire their wife or husband?”
Couple-run business partnerships frequently have an uneven power dynamic, which can cause tension both in the office and at home, notes Meg Cadoux Hirshberg, author of For Better or For Work: A Survival Guide for Entrepreneurs and their Families.
In addition to her book, Hirshberg has personal experience with this subject: Her husband is Gary Hirshberg, chairman and former CEO of Stonyfield Farm, the organic yogurt company that was bought by Groupe Danone in 2001. Meg Hirshberg worked for Stonyfield for several years.
“Husband and wife business partnerships usually arise this way: One person is the primary motivator for the business, and the spouse joins in. The spouse is available, capable and cheap. They get into it [thinking,] ‘It’s a family business. Of course I’m going to help out’,” she notes.
“But as the business grows, suddenly they find themselves in a role that in any other organisation would have required an interview, the setting of goals and expectations, salary discussions and so forth. Consequently, the spouse is often not suited, by their interests and training, for the work that they are doing.”
Issues of hierarchy may also creep into the relationship. “Theoretically, you’re in a marriage of equals,” Hirshberg adds.
“But in the workplace, generally one person is in charge. Even if you don’t report to your spouse, you are still under them. This lopsided relationship can cause tension.”
Perhaps the hardest thing about starting and running a business with a spouse is that there is very little time or room in the marriage for much else besides work. For some entrepreneurs who thrive under constant pressure, this is not a problem.
Others miss the ability to create some semblance of romance at home. “After you have been working together all day, it’s a tough transition to rekindle intimacy,” Hirshberg points out.
“This reconnection is made harder by the fact that, in the workplace, we talk to each other in more abrupt, hurried ways. At home, the couple must use more subtle and nuanced communication, and make the shift from tough to tender.”
Wharton’s Huang calls this the “painful proximity” phenomenon, which roughly translates to an annoying sense of closeness.
“Issues arise in business; they always do,” she says. “When you’re married to your business partner, you don’t have the opportunity to separate and decompress.”
Matt and Kate Jennings co-own Farmstead, an upscale restaurant and gourmet specialty shop in the US.
He is the primary chef, and she is the pastry chef. Because Matt works nights and Kate spends evenings at home with their son, they don’t have a lot of time for just the two of them.
“Do we want to spend every moment of our weekend talking about work?” asks Kate Jennings.
“It’s tricky. There is a point where you have to separate your work from your marriage. And then you throw a kid into the mix – a very young child – and it’s hard… You do bring the work stresses home.”
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Andrew Sadauskas is a former journalist at SmartCompany and a former editor of TechCompany.
