Mr Banker

Do I exist? Without the requisite documentation, IT support has its doubts…

Desktop support

I suspect that some of my readers believe that I do not exist, and that I am a mere journalistic device employed by the charming editor and her visionary publisher.

Those unfamiliar with the world of large corporates might think that my descriptions of day-to-day life are too absurd to be real, and that they are contrived for the sake of entertainment.

This is an understandable view – in fact I had my own doubts, after a recent attempt to replace a broken desktop printer.

When the new printer arrived, I called the IT team to have it connected.

My first contact with the “service provider” was therefore to receive a rebuke over having used “the wrong form” (perhaps on the other side of the looking glass the service provider declines to distribute the wrong form?). Service Provider then pointed out that I needed to request the printer using the correct form.

I meekly accepted the reprimand and agreed to submit the correct form, and inquired about where to find it. Service Provider explained that I could find the form on the intranet and print it out, have it authorised, then fax it.

Mildly I pointed out that printing was a bit of a moot point. The desktop printer was needed because the Service Provider was unable to connect me to the network printer.

Service Provider had a suggestion: email the link to a nearby colleague for them to print. Unfortunately, nearby colleagues are part of a different team – they do have access to a network printer, but they do not have access to that part of the intranet.

Service Provider was stumped for a while and then to my surprise offered to bring the form and connect my PC to the network printer. Only 36 hours later than promised, the Service Provider appeared in person (which personal appearance will have those who do work in large corporates wondering whether my descriptions of day-to-day life are too absurd to be real, and are contrived for the sake of entertainment).

On inspection, the “right” form precisely duplicated the information and approvals on the “wrong” previous form. Nonetheless, I completed the form while Service Provider inspected my PC. He explained that he could not after all connect me to the network printer. IT had no infrastructure on the floor; I should not have been there; and my PC should not have been able to connect.

Which I think leaves me at the end of this blog with my existence doubted by those who do work in large corporates, those who don’t, and our Service Provider. But on the bright side, I was provided with a cast-iron excuse for doing no work – which I should be able to stretch out for at least another week.

For more Banker blogs, click here.